When there is conflict, mistrust and suspicion are some of the first symptoms, together with emotions such as anger, despair and fear. Dealing with conflict can feel intimidating and most people either run away from it or face it with aggression, both of which can make the situation worse.
But there are other more constructive options, and mediation is one of them. Mediation is a confidential and voluntary process to resolve and deal with conflict and disagreements with the assistance of an impartial facilitator. The mediator helps people in conflict understand what has happened, explore their own solutions and decide what they need to do to find a door to a different future.
Mediation helps people find their own solutions, so that they can move forward. Mediation is about the future.
The mediator has no stake in the outcome of the dispute and has no power to impose a settlement on the participants, who retain the authority to make their own decisions. The mediator ensures that all the people involved are able to have a productive conversation where they can listen to and understand each other
Mediation is a collaborative process, and it enables people to work together to overcome differences and create mutually acceptable solutions. Mediation is most effective when all the people involved genuinely want to resolve the issues and are open to different views in order to negotiate any settlement or agreements.
A mediator creates a safe space for people in conflict to find a constructive way forward. Are you willing to find a different future, or do you prefer to remain in a painful past?
Why choose mediation
Mediation has agreed flexible structures, as it is built according to the needs of the participants. It is less costly, both in financial terms, as formal legal disputes may take considerably longer and therefore impose higher financial costs; and in emotional/psychological terms, as the impact of either a protracted legal dispute or of not addressing the conflict can be more challenging and unhealthy for all involved.
Mediation is private and confidential (unless there is risk of harm), so no one else apart from the people involved need to be aware of the issues being discussed. It also offers potential different solutions that are only limited by the flexibility and creativity of the people – since the outcome is decided by the participants working together, a renewed dispute on the same original issues is much less likely to arise.
The process of mediation
Mediation is a structured process. It involves individual meetings with the people in conflict and then one or more joint meetings where everyone has the opportunity to listen and be listened to.
Mediation can take place over the course of a day or over several days. The mediation process starts with brief telephone calls to each of the people involved, where the mediator explains the process, agrees timings and answers any questions they might have. The face-to-face process starts with individual, confidential meetings (approximately 1h per person) with the participants, where the mediator can explain how the process is going to work and the person can share their perspectives on the situation, the impact it has had on them and what they would like to achieve. An agreement to mediate, which includes a confidentiality agreement, needs to be signed by all the parties before the joint meeting takes place.
This is followed by a joint meeting that is facilitated by the mediator and lasts for a number of hours. If at the end of the mediation an agreement is reached, this can be written at the request of the parties.
Online mediation
Online mediation is available for most situations, and it is especially relevant nowadays with the Covid-19 pandemic. It works over videoconferencing and it only requires a stable internet connection, a device with a camera and good microphone, and a quiet and private space.